How do we handle the death of a dream?
I remember a catchy song from my childhood – a bit celebrative and a bit cryptic – which was popularized by Cat Stevens. Are you old enough to recall this one?
“Oh very young,
What will you leave us this time?
You’re only dancing on this Earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your daddy’s best jeans
Denim Blue fading up to the sky
And though you want them to last forever
You know they never will – you know they never will
And the patches make the goodbye harder still”
Let’s face it. It’s exceptionally difficult to process significant chapters of our lives that did not pan out – or that do not appear to be panning out – in the ways that we had hoped, prayed, or expected.
And how do we discover any meaningful purpose in chapters of our lives that are littered with pain? Lost jobs … lost health … lost relationships … lost opportunities … lost loved ones … lost joy. Again, not easy.
And how do we let go of the many mistakes we’ve made along the way, particularly those mistakes that seem larger than life? You know, the ones that still haunt us, even though we’ve tried and tried to let them go. Maybe we’re fixated on a terrible decision that we made, and we can’t seem to get past it. Maybe we sinned grievously on some particular occasion, and the replays of it in our mind are so intense that we think we’ll never be able to forgive ourselves – even though we know that God has promised to forgive us. Maybe we’re dogged by regret upon regret upon regret. Again, fighting through such chapters can seem next to impossible.
What can we do when our longings have turned into losses? When the dreams which once animated our youthfulness now serve only to stab us in the chest …
Here’s what we do: we embrace the character and faithfulness of God.
The Lord, who has promised never to leave us or forsake us, is by no means going to forget us in our broken dreams. His gracious heart is tender toward our losses – including our perceived losses – as He prepares for us a future of unrivaled glory! As He prepares our future for us, He prepares us for our future – and much of that preparation includes teaching us to persevere in faith (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).
“We do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison …”
In Christ, you and I don’t have to “lose heart” – because God has promised us that all of our pain has a purpose. In the moment, affliction rarely seems “light” or “momentary,” but God reassures us that – from His perspective – those are accurate descriptors of our heartaches. Even our shattered dreams are no match for God’s relentless grace toward us. When it comes to His Beloved children, our Father has nothing but good up His sleeve.
The Greek word translated “preparing” means “producing, accomplishing, or achieving.” God uses every affliction that you and I endure to produce something magnificent for our future. Suffering – including our having to let go of a dream which we held dear – matures us in Christlike perseverance. It also teaches us to rely more fully on Jesus, enables us to comfort others in their struggles and sorrows, and refines our faith in the important ways in which God knows we must grow and change.
Friends, this hope promised in the Scriptures applies not just to extraordinary suffering like the Apostle Paul had to endure, but to all of the ways in which you and I are learning to trust God in the middle of the night. When we don’t understand God’s plan. When we’d give our right arm to be able to go back and change what we said or did. When we feel riddled by “What if?” … or “if only” … or “Why?”
When we let go of a dream, or when we finally invite God to rewrite the script that we had planned, our suffering becomes surrender. Holy surrender. When we turn to the Lord in our pain and confusion … when we praise Him instead of cursing Him … when we trust His heart rather than malign His love, we find ourselves stronger in revolutionary life-changing faith than we ever imagined.
“… we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.”
Unlike even our favorite pair of blue jeans, such things never fade.
Pastor Charles
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