Last night we enjoyed a delicious Italian dinner followed by another robust discussion on the subject at hand. We focused our attention on our need to have the right heart posture in order to share Christ in such confusing times. Everyone “out there” is struggling with something, as are we. We reminded ourselves that what we all long for is this: to be fully known and fully loved!
Many people struggle with shame, so we discussed the distinctions between guilt and shame. One participant shared a valuable insight on the distinctions between conviction and condemnation, a point of clarification for which we were all grateful. Then we had a brainstorming session centered on the kinds of life events which cause shame. I shared some insights from a book that I’ve been reading called The Soul of Shame, written by Curt Thompson, M.D., and we discussed how shame becomes deeply associated with a person’s sense of self. In other words, shame becomes internalized, and makes its way into the core of who we are.
We then discussed how shame impacts our thinking, feeling, and sensing in powerful ways. Shame can make us emotionally numb or emotionally “nauseous,” for example. And our negative thoughts can recycle and feed on each other. When we are crippled by shame, even our cognition can become fuzzy. Dr. Thompson makes the point that shame sets us up for what he calls “disintegration,” which can drive us into isolation from others.
In a world where technology has not served to cure our isolation, but rather to enhance it, we discussed how communities which promise freedom from identity issues can appear quite attractive. Young people in particular are drawn to places of acceptance and affirmation, and will seek that nearly anywhere. So if the LGBTQ community promises such heartfelt acceptance, you have a recipe for gender confusion.
Last night we underscored just how important it is for the church to be strong right now – strong doctrinally, relationally, and missionally. We want to be a refuge for everyone. We want to be a place of grace for everyone. We want the world to see us with our arms open wide (because our arms are indeed open wide). Only God can make us such a place, and such a people.
Then I introduced the group to Rosaria Butterfield (via video), who once chaired the Feminist Studies department at Syracuse University. Rosaria has abandoned her former identity as a lesbian and is helping the evangelical church understand some of the critical issues which are raised by the subject of gender ideology. We took a look at her second book, Openness Unhindered, and I focused our attention on a few of her key points there. I’ll share just three via blog this morning …
“Adam’s fall rendered my deep and primal feelings untrustworthy and untrue.”
“I was converted not out of homosexuality, but out of unbelief.”
“God’s revealed purpose for my identity always nails me to his cross.”
Wow! That’s some powerful truth! In a feeling-driven culture, you and I can be guided by something much more steady and stable. By way of example, gender dysphoria is a legitimate medical issue, but we must be very careful how we treat it. And we must be very careful about who is making those decisions. And we must be very careful about the motivations of the people who are making those decisions.
As we reviewed the simple gospel of Jesus, including the truth about our sinful nature, we reminded ourselves that we all experience a very real struggle when it comes to living out the identity that matters most: we are sons and daughters of God. That’s not always easy, is it? “Through many dangers, toils, and snares …” And yet the lover of our souls has gone before us to lead us home. His grace is, even when we can’t see how things will work out, strangely sufficient.
So, as we “glorify God and enjoy him forever” (Westminster Shorter Catechism, 1647), we want to love others – all others – with the completely undeserved love which we have so freely received in Christ.
The tomb is empty!
Pastor Charles
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